A New State of Mind...

It’s true what they about having a child and how that will change your thought processes. Everything in comparison to my son is so minor! I used to be so caught up in thinking that some things were so important and that if it certain things didn’t the way I THOUGHT they should be, all would be over and the world would come crashing to an end! Of course when Dec 30, 2009 rolled around that all changed!! I remember me worrying soo much about possible resenting the fact that I couldn’t sleep as much I used to. I have to admit, it does get a little hard sometimes and yes I do miss being able to sleep in from time to time, however I don’t miss it over all. I definitely don’t resent the fact that I can’t do it anymore. I’m also amazed at my automatic response to the day to day care of Kevin. It’s like I don’t think about it…I just do it! This applies to his feedings, bathing, entertaining, nurturing, etc. Seriously, I get up no matter how tired or EXHAUSTED I may feel and do whatever needs to be done for him. The best part of it is that I LOVE doing it for him. I have yet to experience a begrudged feeling towards him when he needs me to take of him.

I guess that’s what a mom is all about!

10 weeks tomorrow!

I went back to work March 1, 2010. My first week back to work went well. I didn’t feel like I thought I would. I expected to feel like my heart was ripped from my chest or like I couldn’t go on with my life but surprisingly those feelings didn’t manifest. It did however feel weird and funny dropping KJ off to school the first day. Kevin and I both took him the first day. KJ of course didn’t have a clue as to what was happening so he was completely fine. He did cry as we were leaving but that was only because it was time for him to eat! LOL! We ended up putting him in a licensed home day care. I’m sure that is why I am so calm and peaceful during the day. I feel like he is in GREAT hands so I don’t worry about him at all. I know it wasn’t any thing but GOD that led me to Miss Renee. She is the sweetest lady I’ve ever met. She genuinely loves children and you can tell that she will treat him just like her own. Granted it costs A LOT more than what we were going to pay Miss Julia the peace of mind is priceless! I now know what people say when they say that you can’t put a price tag on your child’s safety and peace of mind!

KJ is doing great in daycare! I am so proud of my little man. I have noticed that he is maturing so much. He’s now taken an interest in Bentley. He follows her with his eyes as she walks around the room. She is still paying him no mind whatsoever. I’m thinking in a month or so when he starts to really move and be more vocal that Bentley will take a real interest in him. We recently purchased a Baby Einstein gym for him. The first day we let him play with it; of course he just laid there and looked. I think he was a little tired and not really feeling it. Yesterday when I put him on the floor, he was talking up a storm! It has an octopus that hangs in the center of the gym. KJ found his new friend! He kept talking to it and kicking his legs. He was having a really good time.


It’s amazing watching him grow and discover new things. He sleeps more through the night. Last night he was sleep by 9:30 ish and didn’t get up until a little after 3! His bedtime routine really helps! I don’t really rock him to sleep. I do however rock him and feed him a bottle after he gets his bath. That’s like our special time together. I look forward to it. I love just looking down at him while he eats. I am so in love with that boy!! He still isn’t drinking a complete 4 oz bottle yet but he is growing! I purchased him a cute little outfit the other week. Tell me why he wore it once and can’t wear it anymore!! Not only is it skin tight but they’re high waters now! My baby is growing like a weed.

We took KJ to church for the very first time on March 7, 2010. We attended a church that we had never been to before and it is also the home church of Miss Renee. We had a wonderful time. Kevin and I have been in search of a church home for quite some time and now with KJ it is important to the both of us that he is raised up in church. He slept the entire time and was really good. I might consider letting him go to the nursery on Sunday’s Renee works in there. I know she will take good care of him. Kevin and I plan on going back this Sunday as well. God is amazing!

8 weeks ....

Well, another week or so has passed any baby boy is now 8 weeks old. Motherhood has been really good to me. Kevin is the probably one of the easiest if not THE easiest babies in the entire world. He is so text book that it's almost like he DID come with instructions. He is hitting his developmental milestones on time and in most cases ahead of time. I marvel at his facial expressions and sounds that he makes. He has this unique sound that he makes when he wants you to focus your attention on him. He LOVES for you to talk or sing to him and in some cases will "sing" along with you. I know that most 8 week olds do this, but you have to understand he has been doing this since about 4 weeks old! He doesn't cry like a normal baby....this is how I know there IS a God! Seriously, I've never done well with noise and I was worried that the baby's crying would get on my nerves BUT to God be the glory...my baby appears to not know how to cry! He makes these weird sounds...almost like shrieks or squeals. The sounds are so funny that instead of it getting my nerves and me wanting it to stop, I tend to laugh and crave more! God has blessed me so greatly with this child.

This past weekend brought me face to face with the first real dilemma of my parenting experience. Early on Big Kevin and I decided on where we would place KJ for childcare. We decided that we would use a lady who had watched several kids over the years. She has a great reputation and currently babysits a child of a fellow co-worker. She isn't licensed and lives 20 minutes or so in the opposite directions of our jobs. We met with her last summer and set things in place for my return to work this March. At any rate Kevin and I discussed other child care options but in the end decided to go with her. In preparation for my return to work I decided to take KJ to her a few times over the course of February and start him going to her the last week of February. I took KJ to visit during the first week of February. We stayed for several hours and things went well. I felt she interacted with KJ really well and I could tell that he definitely would be loved by her. She also watches 2 toddlers who are around 2.5 years old. They were there as well and interacted really well with the baby. During that visit a few things raised a flag in my mind but I figured it was just me being anal so I let things pass. Kevin and I took KJ back to her house on this past Friday. Again, the visit went well overall but those red flags stood up AGAIN!

I tossed and turned all night over what was troubling me. I debated on whether or not the uneasiness I was feeling was great enough for me to switch up the plans Kevin and I put into place long ago. I was entering my last full week of maternity leave and all I could think about was how hard it would be to find something else this late in the game. I got up Sunday morning and decided that I MUST listen to my mother's instinct and find another daycare for KJ. Given the timeline I was working on, I simply got online and started calling home daycares starting with the 5 stars and working my way down. I was able to make an appointment to tour one on Monday morning. I left messages with other numbers and simply left it in God's hands.

I woke up Monday morning and received a phone call from the daycare provider I had made the appointment with saying she thought she would have an opening but it just confirmed that she wouldn't. I hung up the phone feeling really defeated but even more determined to figure something out. I called back a daycare that I'd left a message with the day before. This time I was able to speak directly to the owner and set up an appointment for later that day. It was important that we meet with her that day because that was the only day Kevin was off this week. We showed up and everything went well with the visit. Kevin and I both liked what we saw but more importantly didn't leave with any feelings of "red flags".

We decided on going with this provider so KJ will start Monday, March 1, 2010 going to daycare. I know in my heart that I have done what is best for my son. I am very proud of myself for standing up for my son and making a decision to put him in the best environment possible. In the end I know God gave KJ to Kevin and I to raise and keep safe. I don't take my son's life lightly and this situation served as a spring board for me to really listen to motherly instinct and do whatever it takes to insure his health, happiness, and safety.

Almost 7 weeks old!

I still can't believe that I'm a Mommy! Kevin will be 7 weeks old this upcoming Wednesday. Time has flown by! I have been blessed with the coolest baby in the world! He truly only cries when he is wet, hungry, or uncomfortable. He is a joy to be around and is simply awesome. I look at him sometimes and I simply shake my head. Who would've thought that I could give birth to something so beautiful and sweet. We are at the stage where he babbles and really pays attention to you. He truly knows his Mommy and has proven many times that SHE has the magic touch. I have yet to feel resentment, sadness, or any other negative emotion that new mothers often experience. I know that it's only by God's grace that I haven't!

Today my dad turned 57 years old. My family came together last night to take him out to dinner at Ruby Tuesday to celebrate. We had to celebrate early because it was supposed to snow today. Well, it snowed!!! Kevin got to experience his first snow! I took him outside for only a little while seeing as though he still hasn't had his shots and I don't' want him to get sick. Of course he didn't pay it any mind but I sure had a blast taking his pictures. I know one day he will ask questions about this day and I will be sure to tell him all about it.

On a side note, I know I've been slack on this blog. I will do my best to get back in the habit of posting on a regular basis. It's really important to me to capture as much as I can of Kevin's life seeing as though my parents didn't capture any of mine! I definitely plan to do things for him that were not done for me.

I really love my son!!

I'm back and He's here!!!

I know I should be totally ashamed at the fact that I haven't posted anything since last May. A very quick recap of the past few months:

June 2009- My nephew graduated high school. We also got to attend our very first wedding as married couple. So cute being on the other side!

July 2009- My maternal grandmother passed away on July 3. She had been sick with cancer for a while. Although I was very sad that she wouldn't get to meet her great-grandchild, I was thankful that she at least knew he was coming. I can't wait to tell him how his great-grandmother proclaimed I was carrying a "lazy boy" while I was only 8 or 9 weeks pregnant! This month also lent itself to me having an opportunity to be the matron of honor in my best friend Tanisha's wedding.

August 2009- Kevin and I found out that were officially having a little boy! We shared the information with our family and friends at our reception. It was a wonderful event and we really had a great time. Kevin and I also went on our "honeymoon" to the Bahamas on a 5 day cruise. Despite the fact I was 5 months pregnant, we still had a great time.

September 2009 - I turned 30!

October and November 2009 - We worked very hard at getting the baby's room complete. It turned out really nice. We ended up doing a sport's theme and even though I hadn't originally bought into the idea I have to admit it was a lot fun working on it with Kevin. I also ended up having 4 baby showers during this time. I had a shower hosted by my co-workers, D.I.V.A.S., friends, and Kevin's co-workers.

December 22-30, 2009 - Ok...let's see...Kevin's birth story actually began on Dec. 22. I was admitted into the hospital due to a rise in my blood pressure. I stayed for a day or so in order to have my blood pressure monitored. My blood pressure was a little raised but it still wasn't in the danger zone of pre-eclampsia. I was released with the strict orders of bed rest. Thankfully my sister planned to come and spend Christmas with us. Not only did she and Kevin cook our Christmas dinner, they also made sure I didn't over work myself. I went to my follow up doctor's appointment on Monday December 28 and was told that I would be induced the following day. This news came after being checked for the 3 time in a week and discovering that my uterus was still hard and closed SOLID! At one point, a doctor referred to my uterus as "pathetic"! Thank goodness I have high self esteem! LOL!

At any rate, Kevin and I reported to the hospital Tuesday, December 29, 2009 around 7:00 pm. I was given the first round of medicine to soften my cervix around 8:00 pm and another dose around midnight. My cervix softened and I was given petocin shortly after that. Around 7:00 am on Wednesday December 30th they broke my water. I started having contractions really strong and close around that time. I had all intentions of doing the natural thing however I still had my epidural consult so that I could get an epidural if I wanted one. Around 11:00 am I asked for an epidural!! Labor progressed really slowly into the early afternoon. Dr. Truluck came in around 4:00pm and stated that if I had not made any progress in the next hour we would have to have a conversation about a possible Cesarean. All throughout this time the nurses would periodically come in and have me change positions because the baby's heartrate kept dropping off and on.

An hour went by and another doctor (Dr. Martin) came on call. He came in an examined me and once again stated that if there was no progress in the next hour or so we would look at a Cesarean section. He left out the room and once again I had to reposition because the baby's heartrate dropped again. Suddenly the door sprang open and the doctor rushed in and said that the baby had to come out right away! His heartrate had dropped dangerously low and they couldn't get it to come back up. Next thing I know cords are being snatched out the wall and I'm being wheeled down the hallway to the operating room for an emergency C-section! Things happened so quickly that I barely had time to process what was happening to me. Kevin and I were both scared and nervous because things changed for the bad so suddenly. The worse part about it was that Kevin would not be allowed to come in the operating room since it was an emergency. There was no time to say goodbye or even pray together. I didn't breakdown until I actually entered into the operating room. People were moving so quickly so I knew this was indeed an emergency. All I could think about was what happens if I die in childbirth...my son would never know me. I'm telling you that was the worse feeling ever! The last thing I remember was fighting with the nurse who was holding the oxygen mask over my face. I felt like I couldn't breathe and she assured me that I was fine and that I should relax. I'm thinking how can I relax and take deep breaths when it feels like all the air is being sucked out my body!

I woke up some time later and was told I had a beautiful baby boy! Kevin Eugene Reese, II was born December 30, 2009 at 6:10pm. He was 7lbs and 8oz and 20 1/4 inches long. I didn't get to actually see him until about 2 hours later but I was given several pictures of him that the nurses took. All I could do was cry...he was sooo beautiful. I was so grateful to God that my son made it here safely and that I made it through my surgery. When I first laid eyes on my son I was so happy!!! He looked up at me and SMILED! I simply melted!

He is a joy and I'm soo happy that I've been blessed with him. I love him soo much!!!